Poll

What would make my lovely complex more attractive?

sculpture garden
0 (0%)
park the Saab on a rotunda
0 (0%)
many plastic deer
4 (80%)
neon sign
0 (0%)
a large fire
1 (20%)

Total Members Voted: 5

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Author Topic: Security measures!  (Read 1715 times)

Offline SLUM LORD

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Security measures!
« on: September 26, 2007, 08:29:23 AM »
Because of the recent prostitution bust and rumored midget beatings I have hired a full time security guard for Deer Run.  He is a master of the Lambada and has a white belt with two stripes.  He will also be helping with evictions and the most frequent clean up of crime scenes.
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Offline Jerry Springer

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #1 on: September 26, 2007, 08:38:21 AM »
Looks like you are keeping the community safe. Great job! If Steve does not do well with his new show I will send him your way!
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Offline ehowton

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #2 on: September 26, 2007, 08:40:53 AM »
Is he in any way related to you sir?
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Offline SLUM LORD

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #3 on: September 26, 2007, 09:58:15 AM »
Do we look similar?
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Offline Meta

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #4 on: September 26, 2007, 10:01:23 AM »
Not that my opinion was asked, But Yes.
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Offline ehowton

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #5 on: September 26, 2007, 10:25:18 AM »
Quote from: SLUM LORD on September 26, 2007, 09:58:15 AM
Do we look similar?

Look similar?  No sir.  I did, however notice a common theme in the way your sikh's were wrapped and was wondering if that was a family trait.
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Offline Ray and Melvin

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2007, 10:47:46 AM »
Melvin tried to use a bread sack one but it couldn't stop the syphalis.
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Offline SLUM LORD

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2007, 01:24:30 PM »
Retards!  Did you leave this in the office bathroom?
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Offline Meta

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2007, 02:30:35 PM »
Quote from: SLUM LORD on September 26, 2007, 01:24:30 PM
Retards!  Did you leave this in the office bathroom?

What is that?
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Daisy

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2007, 02:35:29 PM »
Quote
What is that?

Don't ask.....  :-[
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Offline jhenning

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2007, 08:56:00 PM »
What/where is the Deer Run?

Jamie
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Offline drax0r

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2007, 02:19:40 AM »
Quote from: jhenning on September 26, 2007, 08:56:00 PM
What/where is the Deer Run?

Jamie

Deer Run are the row of apartments across the street and slightly north of the High School on Hwy 5.
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Offline SLUM LORD

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #12 on: October 02, 2007, 04:07:36 PM »
Attention all residents!

Large animals will not be allowed inside the unit's any longer.  This is from the city of Anna and not me.  And remember to pay your rent this month.  Deadbeats will be out on the street.  If you are geriatric you will be provided blankets and bottle of water.  The management appologises to the family of Granny Lynn. 
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Offline Mooby

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #13 on: October 02, 2007, 04:13:19 PM »
Quote from: SLUM LORD on October 02, 2007, 04:07:36 PM
Attention all residents!

Large animals will not be allowed inside the unit's any longer.  This is from the city of Anna and not me.  And remember to pay your rent this month.  Deadbeats will be out on the street.  If you are geriatric you will be provided blankets and bottle of water.  The management appologises to the family of Granny Lynn. 

Will you house my sow in your vehicle until other arrangements can be made?  I was not given the standard warning for this change of policy and that responsibility sir, falls to you.
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Offline SLUM LORD

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Re: Security measures!
« Reply #14 on: October 02, 2007, 04:18:28 PM »
I will keep the sow in #10.  It has been vacant since the discovery of Walter.  We honestly didn't even think to look in the closet.  After three weeks the animal will be turned over my maintenece guy's to be quartered and sectioned. 
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